Know Your Stars: Ever After High Edition
by UltimateWarriorFan4Ever
Summary: Watch as your favorite characters from Ever After High get some verbal torture and humiliation in a parody of the All That sketch "Know Your Stars"! Who'll be safe after all of this is over? Chapter 15: Blondie Lockes!
1. Ch 1: Raven Queen

**"Know Your Stars: Ever After High Edition"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything associated with Ever After High or All That. Ever After High and its characters are owned by Mattel and the author of the Ever After High books, Shannon Hale, and All That and it's "Know Your Stars" sketch. Anyway, this is a fun little parody and I really hope you enjoy it. Oh, and if you havent heard of the Know Your Stars sketch, go to YouTube and check them out. They're that hilarious. Anyway, enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 1: Raven Queen**

* * *

Raven Queen stepped inside a dark room filled with a sparkly floor that had stars all around it.

"Well, this looks glamourous." Raven Queen replied, "I wonder why Briar invited me here. She told me this was a party. Maybe I must be early."

As soon as Raven took her seat, a voice suddenly came out of nowhere.

_**Know your stars... know your stars... know your stars...**_

Suddenly, Raven was confused by the male voice.

"Um, Briar?" Raven raised her eyebrow, "Is that you?"

_**No, this is your mother. Of course, this isn't Briar. I'm actually the Know Your Stars announcer.**_

"Know your stars?" Raven raised her eyebrow again, "Never heard of that."

"You never heard of Know Your Stars?" The announcer gasped, "Well, just sit and find out."

"Okay then." Raven nodded.

_**Know your stars... know your stars... know your stars! Raven Queen... is the daughter of Snow White!**_

However, Raven chuckled at that little lie.

"Um, actually announcer guy, that would be Apple White." Raven corrected him, "She's the daughter of Snow White, and not me. I'm actually the daughter of the Evil Queen, who was bad, heartless and someone I wouldn't want to follow my footsteps in. Besides, I'm following my own destiny.

_**Raven Queen... hates Apple White.**_

"You serious?" Raven raised her eyebrow, "I love my sister. I care about her very much than I do my destiny. Just because she orders me to follow my story, that doesn't mean that I _hate her_ hate her.

_**Are you suuuuuuuuuure?**_

"Yes, I am sure." Raven spoke sternly, "You say like I'm lying, but I'm not, so let's just drop it, okay?"

_**If you say so. Raven Queen... wants to rape Apple White and take her place as the next Snow White!**_

"WHAT?!" Raven gasped, "Okay, that's bullcrap if I heard it! I already told you I love my sister deep down, why in the hex would I rape my sister? It's wrong and you know it.

_**I don't care. It would make a good incest film.**_

Meanwhile, Raven looked a bit disgusted by the announcer's confession.

"Good god, are you sick?" Raven cringed, "I would never even do anything to Apple! I'm certain you would since you're a sick demented pervert! But even if you did, I would stop you from doing that!"

_**And now you know Raven Queen, the next Snow White!**_

However, the announcer's constant irritation forced Raven Queen to draw out her black magic. She finally grew sick and tired of the announcer's lies.

"Okay, that's it!" Raven shouted violence, "C'mon out so I can thrash you like the rat that you are!"

_**Ooooh, I'm shaking!**_

"Oh, you're gonna be once I find where you are!" Raven shouted again as the camera backed away from her, "And when I do, I'll rip your lips out and reach them to your butt. That way you'll be kissing your own butt while the world watches! That'll be hexellent for me and not for you. Count on it!"

* * *

**Well, that's it for Raven! I'm certain she's gotta be on a flipping rampage about that.**

**Anyway, who do you want me to torture next? Feedbacks are welcome, fellow fairy tales!**


	2. Ch 2: Briar Beauty

**"Know Your Stars: Ever After High Edition"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything associated with Ever After High or All That. Ever After High and its characters are owned by Mattel and the author of the Ever After High books, Shannon Hale, and All That and it's "Know Your Stars" sketch. Anyway, this is a fun little parody and I really hope you enjoy it. Oh, and if you havent heard of the Know Your Stars sketch, go to YouTube and check them out. They're that hilarious. Anyway, enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 2: Briar Beauty  
**

* * *

Briar Beauty stepped inside the sparkly starry room and sat on a director's chair.

"Mmmmm, this feels actually comfy." Briar said, right before the announcer's voice came up.

_**Know your stars... know your stars... know your stars...**_

"Whoa, where's that voice coming from?" Briar said, looking around the entire room, "You're not a stalker, are you?"

_***snickers* Maybe. Briar Beauty... she plans to be the next pornstar!  
**_

"Um, excuse me?" Briar raised her eyebrow, "But I plan to become the next Sleeping Beauty. You see, my destiny is to go to sleep for 100 hundred years and have my prince wake me up with a kiss. It's like Apple White's story, but it's totally different. So I live my life up to the fullest by partying."

However, the announcer felt confused for some reason.

_**What?**_

"You don't remember Sleeping Beauty?" Briar gasped, "It's a fairy tale! Surely you must read it."

_**Sorry, I never read it before. Anyway, Briar Beauty... slept with Hopper last night!  
**_

"Yes, but it was only by accident!" Briar corrected him, "We had a party and I got tired last night. Hopper carried me shoulder first to my bed where I collapsed on top of him and then we slept. We didn't even kiss or do anything for that matter!

_**Liiiiiiiiarrrrrr!**_

"It's the truth and you know it!" Briar exclaimed.

_**Okay, so is Hopper the father?  
**_

"What?" Briar scoffed, "I already told you we didn't do anything but sleep! Can you just please let it go and move on, already?"

_**Fine! Geez, you're always such a buzzkill!  
**_

"I heard that!" Briar snapped at him.

_**Briar Beauty... Her pornstar name is Briar Booty!  
**_

"Uh no," Briar scowled in disapproval, "That's not my pornstar name. And I already told you I'm gonna be the next Sleeping Beauty! I don't need to explain everything to you over and over again!"

_**I'm a huge fan of you!**_

Suddenly, Briar managed to smile from that fact.

"Well at least you got something right for once..." Briar spoke in pity.

_**When can I expect you in the next Frog Loving Sluts 2 movie?**_

However, Briar stood up in her chair and snapped at the announcer.

"Okay, that's it!" She exclaimed, "I had enough of you calling me a slut! Come down there and show your face like the man you say that you are. And don't think you can run away from me, because when I find you, I'll-"

And then in a moment, Briar slumped to the floor, falling dead asleep.

"Zzzzzzzzzzzzz..." Briar snored.

_**Briar? Hello...? Good, I thought she'd never go to sleep. Anyway, now you know Briar Booty, the pornstar who thinks she's Sleeping Beauty, but she's not. Anyway, let's stuff her in the car and head back to my hotel!  
**_

Suddenly, backstage personnel came out and picked up Briar Beauty's body, therefore leaving the scene.

* * *

**I can't believe the announcer would have his way with Briar. Such a sneaky perv!  
**

**Anyway, which character do you want me to do next? Let me know via feedback! ;)  
**


	3. Ch 3: Duchess Swan

**"Know Your Stars: Ever After High Edition"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything associated with Ever After High or All That. Ever After High and its characters are owned by Mattel and the author of the Ever After High books, Shannon Hale, and All That and it's "Know Your Stars" sketch. Anyway, this is a fun little parody and I really hope you enjoy it. Oh, and if you havent heard of the Know Your Stars sketch, go to YouTube and check them out. They're that hilarious. Anyway, enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 3: Duchess Swan  
**

* * *

Duchess Swan danced around the the starry room, in which she sat on the chair and awaited the announcer's voice to come up, which it did.

_**Know your stars... know your stars... know your stars...**_

"Duh, I already know what the show's called." Duchess scowled at the announcer with her arms folded, "You don't need to tell me over and over again."

_**Duchess Swan... has an IQ of 1!  
**_

"Okay, is that supposed to be a joke?" Duchess raised her eyebrow, "Because I'm certain I'm much smarter than that. I actually got an IQ of 192. That's way smarter than crappy 1, by the way."

_**It's okay to be stupid, Duhhhhhhhh-chess!  
**_

"I'm not stupid!" Duchess whined, "I can read, write, see and hear circles around you, you got that?"

_**Duhhhhhh-chess Swan... can you say that?  
**_

"Are you treating me like some disabled 10-year old retard?" Duchess scowled at him again, "I already told you that I'm smart! Get it through your little tiny brain. I'm certain you lost it somewhere when you were born!"

_**I did lose my brain! Thank you very much.  
**_

However, a sudden ounce of shock filled through Duchess's face.

"You're actually kidding, right?" Duchess groaned.

_**Nope!**_

"Good, no wonder this show's so retarded..." Duchess said, muttering under her breath.

_**Duhhhhhhh-chess Swan... can you try counting to three? It's not that hard!  
**_

"Sure..." Duchess smiled sarcastically, "As if you mean when I count to three, I'll thrash you harder faster than you can try remembering your own name. That is if you can even remember thanks to your empty skull."

_**And now you know Duhhhhhhh-chess Swan. C'mon, Duhhhhhh-chess, you can say your name!  
**_

Finally, Duchess stood up and gave the announcer a piece of her mind!

"Okay, that's it!" Duchess exclaimed, "I dare you to come down there and show yourself! I'm here to tell you that I'm not stupid! I'm smarter than everyone around Ever After High, and I can hereby tell you that I'm-"

Unfortunately, Duchess was cut off when an anvil fell on top of her head, knocking her out.

"Ohhhhhhhhh..." Duchess groaned in pain.

_**How do you feel now?**_

Amazingly, Duchess got up, but felt a little woozy.

"Uhhhh, that hurt..." She groaned again.

Duchess suddenly looked around her and found out she was still in the same starry room where she was dancing in. However, something was wrong with her, as if she didn't know where she was at.

"Who am I?" Duchess shouted in confusion, "Where am I? Who am I?"

But suddenly, she shook it off and spoke to herself once more, "Oh that's right, I'm Lady Gaga..."

* * *

**Wow, Duchess (or Duh-chess) got knocked a bit stupid there. Talk about worse for wear.  
**

**Who should be next on the chopping block? Let me know by feedback! ;D**


	4. Ch 4: Daring Charming

**"Know Your Stars: Ever After High Edition"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything associated with Ever After High or All That. Ever After High and its characters are owned by Mattel and the author of the Ever After High books, Shannon Hale, and All That and it's "Know Your Stars" sketch. Anyway, this is a fun little parody and I really hope you enjoy it. Oh, and if you havent heard of the Know Your Stars sketch, go to YouTube and check them out. They're that hilarious. Anyway, enjoy!**

**P.S: Bold italics mean that the Know Your Stars announcer is saying what he's usually saying.**

* * *

**Chapter 4: Daring Charming  
**

* * *

Daring Charming, who was looking really dapper and dashing with his clean letterman jacket, sat on the director's chair and looked at himself, just before he heard the announcer's voice.

_**Know your stars... know your stars... know your stars...**_

"Yep." Daring chuckled as he nodded, "Make sure you do me justice, K?"

After a little wink to the announcer, Daring sat relaxed while the KYS guy went on with his usual whatnot.

_**Daring Charming... he's the son of Bill Cosby!  
**_

"Hahahaha..." Daring chuckled as if the announcer was joking for a minute, "You're kidding, right? I haven't even heard of that guy. Who on earth is Bill Cosby by the way, anyway? Is he some kind of evil dragon? Because if he is, I'll take care of him instantly than I do my own hair."

_**Daring Charming... his hair is made of Jell-O banana pudding!  
**_

"That is soooooo untrue." Daring replied, "My hair is made out of pure silk. It's smooth and shiny just like my style. I swear if you felt my hair by now, you would be touching a cloud!"

_**It's just like banana pudding!  
**_

"Well, I wouldn't say it's like banana pudding." Daring muttered, "Just because you think my hair is made out of that gooey pudding stuff, that doesn't mean it's true!"

_**Daring Charming... he wants a taste of his hair like he wants banana pudding!  
**_

"Okay, that is _false_!" Daring said, raising his voice.

And then, he stood up from his seat and gave the announcer what for!

"For your information, my hair is not food and it's not to be harmed with!" Daring exclaimed, "If you're asking, this hair is a masterpiece, and anything you say about my hair is gonna make me-"

Unfortunately, he was cut off as a vat of banana pudding fell through the ceiling and splashed Daring all around his body. This little impact made Daring cringe all over..

"Wha-what the hex is this?" Daring said, wiping off the pudding from his arms.

_**That's actually your hair!  
**_

"No, it isn't!" Daring whined a bit, "This is just banana pudding, which I don't have for hair! And I'm not even that hungry, considering I just ate like hours agi! I demand you get me a towel and wipe the rest of this mess off of me!"

_**Nah, I don't think I will. And now you know, Daring "Puddinghair" Charming!  
**_

"That is not my name!" Daring shouted angrily.

_**Yes, it is!  
**_

"No, it's not!" He shouted as the camera backed away from him slowly, "Where on earth do you think you're going? Get back here and dry me off, you coward! I want every ounce of this glob wiped off of me! And I still don't have no idea who Bill Cosby is! I'm pretty sure he's a dragon because if that's not true, I'll have to stab you right in the head until you die away from me! Hello?!"

* * *

**Hmmmm, I never knew that about Daring's hair. What's next, there's a midget hiding under Maddie's hat?  
**

**Either way, tell me who should get the chopping block next. Feedbacks are welcome! ;D**


	5. Ch 5: Apple White

**"Know Your Stars: Ever After High Edition"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything associated with Ever After High or All That. Ever After High and its characters are owned by Mattel and the author of the Ever After High books, Shannon Hale, and All That and it's "Know Your Stars" sketch. Anyway, this is a fun little parody and I really hope you enjoy it. Oh, and if you havent heard of the Know Your Stars sketch, go to YouTube and check them out. They're that hilarious. Anyway, enjoy!**

**P.S: Bold italics mean that the Know Your Stars announcer is saying what he's usually saying.**

* * *

**Chapter 5: Apple White  
**

* * *

Apple White was sitting on the comfy director's chair, prepping herself up as soon as the announcer's voice was heard.

_**Know your stars... know your stars... know your stars...**_

"Thanks for having me here!" Apple said, waving to the announcer, "I can't wait for this!"

As she was feeling giddy as ever, the announcer went right to work.

_**Apple White... she's the daughter of the Evil Queen!  
**_

"Oh, you're such a big kidder." Apple giggled as if it was a joke, "That's actually Raven Queen and not me. You see, I'm the daughter of Snow White. As you know, my story involves me getting poisoned by Raven so that my prince Daring Charming could kiss and awake me from my sleep, therefore being queen of my future kingdom."

_**Sorry, never heard of Snow White.**_

"But you must have!" Apple replied, "I'm certain people your age must know about Snow White!"

_**Yeah well, Snow White sucks. Apple White... plans to murder Raven Queen!  
**_

"What?!" Apple gasped, "I would never do that to Raven. Just because she's gonna be evil in my story, that doesn't mean I'll still love her. After all, she's my stepsister!"

Smirking, the announcer held up a sheet of paper which showed a cruddy 6-year old drawing of Apple White stabbing Raven Queen.

_**What about these plans you drew at Art class?  
**_

"I don't know what you're talking about." Apple said, crossing her arms in an unamused way. "And just in case if you haven't forgot, I don't draw like that! I draw art perfectly and carefully, not like a 2-year old kid! So it goes to show you that I don't plan on murdering my sister!"

_**Apple White... also plans to skin animals and sell them as fur coats!  
**_

Hearing this, Apple took in a terrified gasp.

"_How dare you say that_!" She replied.

Like most guests, Apple stood up from her seat and gave the announcer quite a lashing!

"In fact, how dare you make these lies about me!" Apple exclaimed, "When I tell about Headmaster Grimm about this..."

_**Tell him about what? That you'll kill me for making these so-called 'lies'? I'm certain you're used to that a lot!**_

"Well, I'd thought about it much often..." Apple said, thinking about it a little.

_**Apple White... just admitted she kills animals!  
**_

"What? No, I didn't!" Apple cried out, "Like I said, it's nothing but lies! I'm honestly a good girl!"

Suddenly, her good friend and fellow Royal, Ashlynn Ella, came out of nowhere and stood besides Apple in defense.

"You see?" Apple smirked to the announcer, "Ashlynn will explain how fairy good and nice I really am! After all, she's always stood beside me in the tough-"

However, Apple was cut off as Ashlynn grabbed a bucket of red paint and poured it around Apple, making her cringe all over! Apple felt terrified as the entire glob of paint went all over her dress and around her beautiful face, just like in the movie "Carrie"!

"A-A-Ashlynn, why?" Apple said in fear, "Why on earth would you do that!"

"I don't listen to pet-killers, bitch." Ashlynn replied.

After Ashlynn walked out on her, Apple sunk to her knees and was moments away from crying. Meanwhile, the announcer decided to end things from here.

_**And now you know Apple White, the serial animal killer and next Evil Queen!  
**_

"NO, I'M NOT!" Apple cried out again as the camera backed away from her, "HOLY HEX, CAN SOMEONE AT LEAST HAVE THE COURTESY TO WIPE THIS PAINT OFF OF ME? I LOOK LIKE I'M BLEEDING!"

_**That's because you actually are. That's actually goat blood Ashlynn poured on you, not paint.**_

Shivering in fear, Apple started to smell the so-called paint. Realizing that it was actual animal blood, Apple screamed in horror!

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

* * *

**Apple's definitely not gonna live that one up, let me tell ya. Sure it was OOC for Ashlynn to say that, but I thought that would be unexpected.  
**

**Anyway, who do you think should be next? Feedbacks are appreciated!**


	6. Ch 6: Dexter Charming

**"Know Your Stars: Ever After High Edition"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything associated with Ever After High or All That. Ever After High and its characters are owned by Mattel and the author of the Ever After High books, Shannon Hale, and All That and it's "Know Your Stars" sketch. Anyway, this is a fun little parody and I really hope you enjoy it. Oh, and if you havent heard of the Know Your Stars sketch, go to YouTube and check them out. They're that hilarious. Anyway, enjoy!**

**P.S: Bold italics mean that the Know Your Stars announcer is saying what he's usually saying.**

* * *

**Chapter 6: Dexter Charming  
**

* * *

Dexter Charming took a seat on the comfy chairs, wiping his glasses off as soon as the segment started.

_**Know your stars... know your stars... know your stars...**_

"Wha-?!" Dexter said, looking around his shoulders, "Who's there?"

_**Yo momma. What do you think this is?**_

"Um, nothing." Dexter chuckled nervously, "Continue on..."

_**Dexter Charming... he's the little brother of Super Mario!  
**_

"Okay, I don't really think that's right." Dexter corrected him, "I'm actually the other brother of Daring Charming, son of King Charming. Although I do like Super Mario Bros. I'm just not suited to be a Mario brother. Besides, Mario actually has a brother. His name's Luigi."

_**Who? I've never heard of him.  
**_

"Luigi?!" Dexter said, shrugging his shoulders, "C'mon, you must've played a lot of Super Mario Bros back when you were young! I'm certain you remember Luigi!"

_**Yeah, I don't care. Dexter Charming... he moonlights as an Italian plumber!  
**_

"A what?" Dexter raised his eyebrow, "Um, I don't probably look like one. I mean, I don't wear any overalls or an oversized hat. And I don't have a moustache like Mario and Luigi. So basically, I'm not a Mario brother."

_**That single hair on your upper lip counts.  
**_

However, Dexter did in fact notice a single strand of hair hanging on his lip. He wanted to correct that perfectly clear.

"That still doesn't mean I'm not a Mario brother." Dexter replied, "And if you're asking, I don't want a moustache. It makes me feel a little old and crooked."

_**Dexter Charming... has three seconds to leap out of the way before a red turtle shell hits him on the ass!  
**_

"Like that's ever gonna happen." Dexter bulged his eyes out, "There's no way something like that-"

However, he was cut off when a flying red turtle shell came rolling in and tripped Dexter right in the legs, therefore making him fall to the floor. For comedic effect, Dexter performed a little barrel roll right before hitting the floor. To add insult to injury, his glasses was also knocked out of orbit.

Luckily, Dexter managed to dust himself off and pick up his glasses. From there, he turned to the announcer.

"What the hex was that for?" Dexter cried out, "And where on earth did a red turtle shell come from?"

_**You forgot to duck. That's perfect for somebody like you!  
**_

"What on earth are you talking about?" Dexter shouted in confusion, "That possibly didn't make any sense at all!"

_**Now you know Dexter Charming, a.k.a. Dextini, the first-ever retarded Mario brother!  
**_

"I already told you, I'm not a Mario Brother, especially one that's mentally challenged!" Dexter whined while the camera started backing away from him, "I'm telling you that I was born with my brother, Daring Charming! And you never told me where that big turtle shell came from. I demand an explanation and I want one now! Don't think you can run away from me! Hello?"

* * *

**Wow. Dexter is definitely the Luigi to Daring's Mario. Talk about comparing brothers.  
**

**All right, who do you want me to torture next? Let me know by feedback, fellow fairy tales!**


	7. Ch 7: Madeline Hatter

**"Know Your Stars: Ever After High Edition"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything associated with Ever After High or All That. Ever After High and its characters are owned by Mattel and the author of the Ever After High books, Shannon Hale, and All That and it's "Know Your Stars" sketch. Anyway, this is a fun little parody and I really hope you enjoy it. Oh, and if you havent heard of the Know Your Stars sketch, go to YouTube and check them out. They're that hilarious. Anyway, enjoy!**

**P.S: Bold italics mean that the Know Your Stars announcer is saying what he's usually saying.**

* * *

**Chapter 7: Madeline Hatter  
**

* * *

Madeline "Maddie" Hatter came in to the studio, where she saw a chair standing around the starry room. From there, she took her seat as the announcer's voice came out.

_**Know your stars... know your stars... know your stars...**_

"Ooh, this should sound like fun!" Maddie said, shaking her teacup in joy.

_**Madeline Hatter... she's a tea addict!  
**_

"Oh, that's silly." Maddie chuckled, "Well, I used to be one, but now, I'm having only one cup a day. It really helps out with me being less erratic than ever. All in moderation, I must say."

_**Uh... Madeline Hatter... has a midget hiding under her hat!  
**_

"Huh?" Maddie gasped, "How on earth did you know I was hiding a midget all this time?"

Apparently, the announcer felt stunned.

_**Wha-? You can't be serious...  
**_

"Nope!" Madeline shook her head.

And then, Madeline managed to pull out a small midget from her hat. The little guy looked so much identical to Mini-Me from Austin Powers by the way.

"Thanks!" The midget said as he dusted himself off, "It looked a little crowded in there!"

"No problem!" Maddie said, tipping her teacup at him.

_**Madeline Hatter... kills her friends, shreds them and turns them into tea!  
**_

"Well, I wouldn't say that." Maddie chuckled, "However, I do use their hair locks to shred up for different kinds of teas. In fact, when I use a little piece of Apple's hair, I shred it up with the tea leaves, and I make Apple-blossom tea! It's really good if you want some!"

_**But I don't understand. You're supposed to disagree with what I say! Can't you realize that I'm only making this up, just to make you and your friends look foolish?  
**_

"I don't know..." Maddie muttered out of curiosity, "You probably got all the facts right."

_**Look Maddie, just pretend to disagree for once. Does that sound good?  
**_

"Crystal clear as a lady's rear!" Maddie nodded in unison.

_**All right, then. *clears throat* Madeline Hatter... hates tea.  
**_

"Yeah, you're right." Maddie confessed, "I prefer tea-riffic tea that's good! Want some?"

_**That's it, I f***ing quit!**_

Suddenly, the announcer stormed out of the studio in anger, as he already had enough of Maddie's entire bullcrap for one night.

Seeing him leave, Maddie turned to the camera with a smile.

"Welp, that's my momma!" Maddie winked, right before she turned to her pet mouse, Earl Grey. "So what will it be Earl Grey, Strawberry Blonde Tea made from Ashlynn's hair or Porridge Pumpkin tea made from Blondie's hair? You get one or the other!"

So far, the segment finally closed out with Maddie and her mouse sharing a nice glass of tea.

* * *

**Well, that was weird... and informative!  
**

**Anyway, who should be next? Let me know via feedback.**

**Oh, and just for the record, I don't plan on watching the latest webisode featuring Daring and Lizzie as a couple. No offense, but I'm just not big on the couple, which would explain why Daring/Apple will always be my one true pairing out of all time. I believe that it will still happen in my heart and soul. No matter what happens, Dapple always stays true to my heart.  
**


	8. Ch 8: Sparrow Hood

**"Know Your Stars: Ever After High Edition"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything associated with Ever After High or All That. Ever After High and its characters are owned by Mattel and the author of the Ever After High books, Shannon Hale, and All That and it's "Know Your Stars" sketch. Anyway, this is a fun little parody and I really hope you enjoy it. Oh, and if you havent heard of the Know Your Stars sketch, go to YouTube and check them out. They're that hilarious. Anyway, enjoy!**

**P.S: Bold italics mean that the Know Your Stars announcer is saying what he's usually saying.**

* * *

**Chapter 8: Sparrow Hood  
**

* * *

Sparrow Hood, the son of Robin Hood, was sitting on a director's chair and playing his guitar right before the announcer's voice came in.

_**Know your stars... know your stars... know your stars...**_

"That's right, Sparrow Hood's in the house." Sparrow took in a smirk as he put down his trusty guitar for now.

_**Sparrow Hood... likes to play the violin.  
**_

"Are you that messed up?" Sparrow said, raising an eyebrow, "The only instrument I play is my guitar. It's like my special friend and my way of life. It spells out rock and roll. By the way, a violin does not spell rock and roll. Instead, it spells out crap!"

_**Sparrow Hood... has a crush on Blondie Lockes!  
**_

Suddenly, Sparrow started blushing all around.

"Whoa whoa whoa," Sparrow replied in panic, "Where on earth did you come up with that. I don't have a crush on Blondie Lockes, even though I find her cute and bubbly. In fact, I don't even know if I'm in love yet."

_**Don't worry, Sparrow. It's okay to admit your feelings for Blondie.  
**_

"But I already told you I don't have a crush on her!" Sparrow cried out, "Besides, I haven't done anything to impress her. Enough said."

Meanwhile, a letter fell through the ceiling, flying down Sparrow Hood's head. Curious, he held it in his hand.

_**Sparrow Hood... read that letter!  
**_

"Why should I?" Sparrow raised his eyebrow again.

_**Trust me. You're gonna love it!  
**_

Taking in a depressed sigh, Sparrow opened up the letter and read the contents.

_Deer Sparow,_

_I looved how U wrote that letter telling yoore feelengs 4 me. Troof is, I find U very coote and adoorable, especilly whin U play your violin. It realy makes me horny whenever I think about U!_

_Loove, Blondy_

Sparrow was lost for words for a little bit.

"Okay, you're supposed to make me believe Blondie wrote this?" Sparrow smirked, "This doesn't even look like her handwriting."

_**It is Blondie's handwriting!**_

"No, this is actually your writing." Sparrow replied, "I can tell because you write like a stupid 6-year old! And for the last time, I don't play a violin, I play a frickin' guitar for hex's sake! Not to mention, that I don't have a crush on Blondie! Besides, if I did have a crush on Blondie, I would have likely told her "I love you" in front of her fa-"

However, Sparrow Hood was cut off by the voice of Blondie off-screen.

"Oh Sparrow!" Blondie shouted, "Did you say that you love me? That's so sweeeeeeet!"

"What? I didn't mean it like that!" Sparrow said, backing away from her slowly.

"That's more than enough to make me love you more!" She gushed at him sweetly.

"You have to understand, Blondie. I don't have-"

Unfortunately, she was cut off by Blondie, who tackled Sparrow to the ground and started kissing him! The announcer's heart was touched by this strange romantic display.

_**Awwww, look at you two. You look so sweet together!  
**_

"As if!" Sparrow scoffed to the announcer, "You drugged her, didn't you?!"

_**Not that I know of. Now you know Sparrow Hood, also known as Blondie's boyfriend!  
**_

"No, you don't!" Sparrow shouted again, "Can someone get Blondie off of me?"

"Don't be silly, you cute teddy bear you!" Blondie said, kissing him in the cheeks, "You know you love meeeeeeee!"

Trying his best to get Blondie off of him, Sparrow called for help!

"Somebody help me out!" He shouted, "I'm being attacked and kissed by a hot crazy-ass blonde chick!"

* * *

**Yeah, I had to include some Splondie love in here. I don't know why, but I think it's soooooo cuuuuuuute!  
**

**Anyway, who should be next? Let me know for feedback, my fellow fairy tales!**


	9. Ch 9: Hopper Croakington II

**"Know Your Stars: Ever After High Edition"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything associated with Ever After High or All That. Ever After High and its characters are owned by Mattel and the author of the Ever After High books, Shannon Hale, and All That and it's "Know Your Stars" sketch. Anyway, this is a fun little parody and I really hope you enjoy it. Oh, and if you havent heard of the Know Your Stars sketch, go to YouTube and check them out. They're that hilarious. Anyway, enjoy!**

**P.S: Bold italics mean that the Know Your Stars announcer is saying what he's usually saying.**

* * *

**Chapter 9: Hopper Croakington II  
**

* * *

Hopper Croakington II was busy sitting on the dreaded director's chair as he shined his little crown. From there, the little introduction began.

_**Know your stars... know your stars... know your stars...**_

"Yeah, it's really good to be here and all!" Hopper nodded at the announcer, "Let's get started, shall we?"

_**Hooper Croakington II...  
**_

"Um, my name's actually Hopper, not Hooper." Hopper corrected him, "It's actually spelled H-O-P-P-E-R, and not H-O-O-P-E-R. Just so you know."

_**Is that right? Oh, okay. Hopper Crackington II...  
**_

"Once again, you got it all wrong." Hopper chuckled, therefore having to correct the announcer again, "It's actually Croakington, not Crackington. I don't want to be related to anyone that's drug-addicted. That's why I'm a proud Croakington and I'm proud to be the next Frog Prince!"

_**Huh. Oh, all right then. Sorry, I have last-second memory loss, which forces me to forget names.**_

"Well, just try to remember them fast, okay?" Hopper winked.

_** Got it. Hooker Crappington IX...  
**_

Instantly, Hopper started to lose his patience with the announcer.

"Look, that is not my name!" Hopper forcefully declared, "I'm telling you for the last time, it's Hopper Croakington II, not Hooper Croakington II, not Hopper Crackington II, and especially not Hooker Crappington IX! Why on earth do you keep forgetting my name?"

_**I told you I have last-second memory loss!**_

Hopper couldn't believe him one bit. In fact, the son of the Frog Prince knew he was lying under his teeth.

"Or maybe this is all just a ruse, only to make me look bad!" Hopper said, accusing the announcer.

_**I'm serious, I do have it!  
**_

"Are you _positive_ that you have it?" Hopper said, raising his eyebrow sternly at him.

_**Cross my heart and hope to die!  
**_

"Good to know." Hopper nodded in unison, "Now can we do this, hoping that you'll get my name right this time?"

_**Let's do this! Hopper Croakington II...  
**_

"Now that's better!" He smiled on behalf.

But before the announcer could tell even one single fact about Hopper, a beeper went off on him.

_**Oh, that's my mom. Sorry, I'll have to keep this short.**_

"Ohhhh, come oooooooon!" Hopper whined a bit, "That's not fair!"

_**Now you know... that guy!**_

"Don't you mean Hopper Croakington II?" Hopper whined again.

_**Yeah, what you said. Oh, and the truth is... I don't have last-second memory loss. I just wanted to mess with you because I felt like it!**_

Shocked to realize this little lie, Hopper blew up at the announcer, who started laughing evilly at his expense.

"I can't believe this!" Hopper exclaimed, "I can't believe you made me fall for that crap! Worst of all, I can't even believe you pretended to get my name wrong, just so you can act stupid and retarded. Which isn't surprising since you're always like this all the time! I demand you come back and tell some facts about me. Damn it, I will not be silenced like this! HELLO?!"

* * *

**It would be fitting to make the announcer lie in a chapter like this. You gotta feel so bad for Hooker, or Hacker, or whatever his name is. I can't remember anymore either.  
**

**Anyway, who should be next on the chopping block? You decide! Until then, feedbacks are welcome!**


	10. Ch 10: Cerise Hood

**"Know Your Stars: Ever After High Edition"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything associated with Ever After High or All That. Ever After High and its characters are owned by Mattel and the author of the Ever After High books, Shannon Hale, and All That and it's "Know Your Stars" sketch. Anyway, this is a fun little parody and I really hope you enjoy it. Oh, and if you havent heard of the Know Your Stars sketch, go to YouTube and check them out. They're that hilarious. Anyway, enjoy!**

**P.S: Bold italics mean that the Know Your Stars announcer is saying what he's usually saying.**

* * *

**Chapter 10: Cerise Hood  
**

* * *

Cerise Hood appeared in a dark portion of the studio, where she saw a chair standing on top of a starry stage. Taking her seat, the introduction started.

_**Know your stars... know your stars... know your stars...**_

"I don't feel comfortable doing something like this, but let's get started." Cerise muttered as the announcer went on.

_**Cerise Hood... has a major headache.  
**_

"Actually, the reason I've got my hood over my head is because it's actually drafty." Cerise obviously stated. "You know how it is when it's cold."

_**Cerise Hood... doesn't know if she has an headache.  
**_

"It's because I don't, okay?" Cerise groaned. "Why must you think I'm wearing some sort of bandage over my head? I'm only telling you that it's cold and nothing else! So can we drop it, already?"

_**All right, fine. You're so crabby, I swear!  
**_

"I heard that!" Cerise shouted.

_** Cerise Hood... how are you feeling?  
**_

"I'm feeling like I'm losing my patience with you." Cerise admitted, "Why's that?"

Suddenly, a bottle of aspirin flew in breakneck speed, hitting Cerise in the forehead and knocking her out of her chair!

"OWWWW!" Cerise groaned in pain, "What was that? And why is my head feeling sore, all of a sudden?"_**  
**_

_**You got yourself a little headache. **_

"Well, you're the dillhole who caused me to have one!" Cerise shouted angrily at the announcer.

_**If you're hurting, there's some aspirin on the floor. Feel free to use it!**_

Unluckily for the announcer, Cerise Hood's eyes changed to that of a werewolf's, therefore showing her anger.

"I'm gonna make you pay for doing that to me!" Cerise shouted in rage as she got off her chair. "I demand that you show yourself and take your beatings like a little sheep! Come on out."

_**Now Cerise, don't be mad. Your head will get sore.  
**_

"Can't you see my head is already sore?" She shouted out again. "I swear, when I'll find you, you'll be the one needing aspirin! Are you even here?"

_**And now you know, "The Human Headache" Cerise Hood!  
**_

"I don't think so!" Cerise shouted while the camera backed away from her. "And you get back here! We're not even done yet! I want you to feel the headache that you gave me earlier! And just so you know, this is a hood, not an big red bandage around my head! Get it right! Hello?"

* * *

**The truth is, I had a little trouble coming up with this chapter. I swear, I'm losing a little bit of my hilarity. Hopefully, I still hope you Cerise lovers still loved this regardless.  
**

**Which person shall be next to face the wrath? Feedbacks are welcome! ^_^  
**


	11. Ch 11: CA Cupid

**"Know Your Stars: Ever After High Edition"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything associated with Ever After High or All That. Ever After High and its characters are owned by Mattel and the author of the Ever After High books, Shannon Hale, and All That and it's "Know Your Stars" sketch. Anyway, this is a fun little parody and I really hope you enjoy it. Oh, and if you havent heard of the Know Your Stars sketch, go to YouTube and check them out. They're that hilarious. Anyway, enjoy!**

**P.S: Bold italics mean that the Know Your Stars announcer is saying what he's usually saying.**

* * *

**Chapter 11: C.A. Cupid  
**

* * *

C.A, Cupid was busy kicking back in the director's chair as the announcer's voice came up off-screen.

_**Know your stars... know your stars... know your stars...**_

"It's good to be here, although it's a bit drafty outside." Cupid said as she wiped the sweat off her forehead. "Let's do this, shall we?"

_**C.A. Cupid... derp de derp. Derp de derpity derpy derp.  
**_

"Um, okay..." Cupid raised her eyebrow, "I couldn't understand what that you're saying. Can you at least speak in a language I can understand. You know, like English?"

_**Certainly. C.A. Cupid... Derp de derp, da teedily dumb.  
**_

"Um, that's not really English." Cupid reminded him.

_**Yes, it is!  
**_

"No, it isn't!" Cupid cried out. "You're only speaking gibberish! Can't you just speak the language I'm speaking? As in real 'English'?"

_** Well, why didn't you say so? Thanks for telling me.  
**_

"Well, that's better." Cupid smiled in relief, "At least you're managing to do something right."

_**C.A. Cupid... Tum Ta Tittaly Tum Ta Too. **_

Suddenly, Cupid started losing her patience with the announcer.

"No, no, no!" She yelled out, "That is not English!"

_**Yes it is, Cupid!**_

"No, it's not!" Cupid exclaimed, "You're still speaking like a retard! Which isn't surprising since you're acting like one! Why can't you speak like a normal person and tell some lies about me? Try something like 'C.A. Cupid has a crush on Dexter Charming and she wants to steal her away from Raven Queen', and then I'll say 'Me and Dexter are just friends and I wouldn't do that to him'! What about that?"

_**Derrr!**_

In a fit of rage, C.A. Cupid yanked her own hair and threw the chair far away from the studio.

"Okay, that's it!" Cupid shouted angrily, "I demand you to know facts about me, just like you do on the show! I'm not going anywhere until you agree to speak like a normal person and not a mentally challenged dingbat!"

_**And now you know C.A. Cupid, Da Derp Dee Derp Da Teetley Derpee Derpee Dumb. Rated PG-13!  
**_

"That doesn't even make sense at all!" Cupid cried out while the camera backed away from her, "And where do you think you're going? We're not finished here! I demand that you come back here and do this right! Don't run away from me like a stupid buttbrain! I demand you know lies about me and I want them now! HELLO!?"

* * *

**Wow, looks like our hefty Know Your Stars announcer was channeling a lot of South Park on this one. A bit random and OOC, but what does it matter? I like it!  
**

**Who should be next on the chopping block? Feedbacks are appreciated! ^_^  
**


	12. Ch 12: Ashlynn Ella

**"Know Your Stars: Ever After High Edition"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything associated with Ever After High or All That. Ever After High and its characters are owned by Mattel and the author of the Ever After High books, Shannon Hale, and All That and it's "Know Your Stars" sketch. Anyway, this is a fun little parody and I really hope you enjoy it. Oh, and if you havent heard of the Know Your Stars sketch, go to YouTube and check them out. They're that hilarious. Anyway, enjoy!**

**P.S: Bold italics mean that the Know Your Stars announcer is saying what he's usually saying.**

* * *

**Chapter 12: Ashlynn Ella  
**

* * *

Ashlynn Ella was busy dusting herself off on the chair as she heard the announcer's voice.

_**Know your stars... know your stars... know your stars...**_

"Yeah, that's what this show's called and all." Ashlynn chuckled nervously.

_**Ashlynn Ella... steals fur from animals.  
**_

"Oh, that's silly." Ashlynn chuckled. "I don't steal them. I feel them through my face. Have you ever felt soft animal fur through your face? It's like sleeping on a pillow!"

_**Yeah, I don't really care about that. Ashlynn Ella... skins animals and uses them as fur coats.  
**_

"What?" Ashlynn gasped, "That's horrible! I would never do anything that heartless! What kind of sick freak would do something like that?"

_**Apparently you.  
**_

"But I'm not a sick freak! Honestly!" Ashlynn whined.

_** Ashlynn Ella... takes baby cows and chops them up!  
**_

"No!" Ashlynn cried out, "That's sadistic! Why are you even feeding these lies about me? I love all animals, especially baby cows. They're cute!"

_**Well, you definitely show your love much more often for cow fur...**_

"By killing them?" Ashlynn reacted in horror. "Never would I do that!"

_**Ashlynn Ella... uses the animals dead bodies to hang on the ceiling so she can show to everyone how good a hunter she is! Hahahaha!  
**_

Suddenly, Ashlynn started forming tears, as if she was gonna cry.

"Please stop." Ashlynn pleaded, "Stop being so mean..."

As she looked at her feet trying to block out the announcer's hurtful comments, her boyfriend Hunter Huntsman came out and stood up for her.

"Hey, leave Ashlynn alone!" Hunter scowled at him.

_**Why would I? What are you gonna do about it?  
**_

"Keep making fun of her and find out." Hunter threatened the announcer clearly. "But trust me, you don't want to."

_**But I can do anything I want. I can make fun of her for all I want. And I can treat her like crap all I want, and there's nothing that you can do to stop me.  
**_

Shockingly, Hunter narrowed his eyes far away...

...

...

...

...only to see Headmaster Grimm behind the announcer's desk, laughing evilly.

And now you know Ashlynn Ell-

Suddenly, Milton was cut off by Hunter, who drove an arrow straight through his chest in retaliation!

"AAAAAAAAAGH!" Milton screamed in pain, "Good god, I think it ruptured my lung!"

He started clenching to the arrow tightly in order to get it off, but it was to no use. He fell down to the floor and was dropped dead.

* * *

**Wow, nobody f***s with Ashlynn's man, let me tell ya!  
**

**Anyway, who should be next? Let me know by feedback!**


	13. Ch 13: Hunter Huntsman

**"Know Your Stars: Ever After High Edition"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything associated with Ever After High or All That. Ever After High and its characters are owned by Mattel and the author of the Ever After High books, Shannon Hale, and All That and it's "Know Your Stars" sketch. Anyway, this is a fun little parody and I really hope you enjoy it. Oh, and if you havent heard of the Know Your Stars sketch, go to YouTube and check them out. They're that hilarious. Anyway, enjoy!**

**P.S: Bold italics mean that the Know Your Stars announcer is saying what he's usually saying.**

* * *

**Chapter 13: Hunter Huntsman  
**

* * *

Hunter Huntsman was busy cleaning and sharpening up his arrows on the hot seat as the announcer's voice came up.

_**Know your stars... know your stars... know your stars...**_

"Let's get this started, shall we?" Hunter smiled in reassurance.

_**Hunter Huntsman... loves squirrels!  
**_

"Well, I can't say I don't like them." Hunter chuckled, just for fun. "They may be cute and cuddly on the outside, but on the inside, they're mischevious and crafty, just like a certain little schemer which name I refuse to reveal in this program. But that doesn't mean I still have love for the rest of the animals in the forest! I really do."

_**Hunter Huntsman... is in love with Pesky!  
**_

That little statement didn't sit well with Hunter a lot.

"Uh, no I don't." Hunter said, crossing his arms. "I hate Pesky! That squirrel is nothing but the bane of my existence! I can't tell you how many times he ruins my precious moments with Ashlynn! He drives me nuts!"

_**Well, from what Pesky understands, you definitely know your way around nuts.  
**_

"I swear if that's a gay joke, I'm gonna shove my arrow right through your brain." Hunter scowled. "However, that still doesn't mean I like that squirrely bastard!"

_** Hunter Huntsman... he's really lying about hating Pesky and wants to marry him just because he loves him. Awwwwww!  
**_

"Okay, what's your problem with me and Pesky?" Hunter raised an eyebrow. "I told you that I don't want anything to do with that little fart! Besides, I have a girlfriend in Ashlynn!"

_**Well, I'm happy that she supports your ever-loving relationship with Pesky!  
**_

Growing tired and furious that the announcer mentioned Pesky, Hunter stood up on his chair and gave him what for.

"All right, that's it!" Hunter angrily exclaimed. "I'm sick of you having to think I'm in love with Pesky, when apparently, I'm not! I demand you come down here and clear all of your lies of me before I turn your insides into soup!"

_**And now you know Hunter Huntsman, a.k.a. Mrs. Pesky!  
**_

"I don't think so!" Hunter growled at the announcer.

_**Have a good honeymoon!**_

"No, I'm not!" Hunter growled again as the camera started backing away from him. "And where do you think you're going? You and me not finished here! If you don't come out, I'll have to hunt you out myself. I know I'm against killing, but it would be worth it to have your head out on the stake of my arrow! Are you listening to me? I really mean what I say! Hello?!"

* * *

**Hunter should've used that arrow right away, let me tell ya that!  
**

**Anyway, who should be next? Feedbacks are welcome, my friends! (;D)  
**


	14. Ch 14: Lizzie Hearts

**"Know Your Stars: Ever After High Edition"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything associated with Ever After High or All That. Ever After High and its characters are owned by Mattel and the author of the Ever After High books, Shannon Hale, and All That and it's "Know Your Stars" sketch. Anyway, this is a fun little parody and I really hope you enjoy it. Oh, and if you havent heard of the Know Your Stars sketch, go to YouTube and check them out. They're that hilarious. Anyway, enjoy!**

**P.S: Bold italics mean that the Know Your Stars announcer is saying what he's usually saying.**

* * *

**Chapter 14: Lizzie Hearts  
**

* * *

Lizzie Hearts was busy flipping her cards around on the hot seat as soon as the announcer's voice came up.

_**Know your stars... know your stars... know your stars...**_

"Yeah, that's what this show's called in all," Lizzie nodded. "Let's get started, shall we?"

_**Lizzie Hearts... Is the daughter of Snow White.  
**_

"Eh no, that cant possibly be right," Lizzie chuckled. "That's actually Apple White. I'm actually the daughter of the Queen of Hearts. You know, the evil queen from Wonderland. She'd always tell people to go 'off with their heads', but I'm thinking second thoughts about becoming a queen of that stature."

_**Lizzie Hearts... wants to kill Apple White so she could marry Daring Charming all to herself!  
**_

That little statement from the announcer made Lizzie agitated.

"WHAT?!" Lizzie shouted. "What on earth gave you that idea? Look, I respect Apple's story, but I would never go to any lengths to take her life and her story! Besides, me and Daring are just friends! Just because someone gives you a ride on their private dragon without anyone knowing, that doesn't mean that they can become friends with one another."

_**Yeah right, you know you really like him.  
**_

"Yeah, well it's not what you think," Lizzie scoffed. "Just friends and nothing else!"

_** Lizzie Hearts... has a haircut that's shaped like a butt turned upside-down!  
**_

"IT IS NOT A BUTT, IT IS A HEART!" Lizzie shouted again. "Just because you think it's a butt turned upside down, it's actually not! I demand you come down here and cover these lies or else I'll off your head out of your own body!"

_**Can your hair-do fart?  
**_

"NO, IT CAN'T!" Lizzie gasped. "I DEMAND YOU COME DOWN SO I CAN HAVE YOUR HEAD TAKEN OFF FOR THIS!"

_**And now you know Lizzie Hearts, the future ass-haired princess who plans to be the next Snow White.  
**_

"I don't think so!" Lizzie shouted angrily as the camera backed away from her. "And I demand that you come back here! You and me are not done yet! And for the info, me and Daring are just friends! It's not like I don't care about Apple's story that much! And my hair-do does not resemble an ass turned upside down. If anyone's the ass, it should be you! It deserves to be taken off your body along with your head! Hello?!"

* * *

**To be truthful, I could actually see a love triangle between Lizzie, Daring and Apple happen in the show. I got the perfect love-triangle shipping name for them: LizDapple! What about that?  
**

**Anyway, who should be next? Don't forget feedbacks, my fellow fairy tales!**


	15. Ch 15: Blondie Lockes

**"Know Your Stars: Ever After High Edition"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything associated with Ever After High or All That. Ever After High and its characters are owned by Mattel and the author of the Ever After High books, Shannon Hale, and All That and it's "Know Your Stars" sketch. Anyway, this is a fun little parody and I really hope you enjoy it. Oh, and if you havent heard of the Know Your Stars sketch, go to YouTube and check them out. They're that hilarious. Anyway, enjoy!**

**P.S: Bold italics mean that the Know Your Stars announcer is saying what he's usually saying.**

* * *

**Chapter 15: Blondie Lockes  
**

* * *

Blondie Lockes was busy brushing her perfect golden locks while sitting on the dreaded hot seat. Shortly, she heard the announcer's voice ring up off-screen.

_**Know your stars... know your stars... know your stars...**_

"It's mighty good to be here!" The blonde-haired perfectionist said. "Let's make this just right!"

_**Blondie Lockes... is the host of "Girls Gone Wild".  
**_

"Well, I can't obviously be the host of that degrading show," Blondie chuckled. "I'm actually the host of a gossip show at Ever After High called 'Just Right'. It's all about the everyday lives of fellow fairy tales and what they do for a living."

_**Yeah, never heard of that show.  
**_

"Surely you have!" Blondie replied, "They're very good. You should check out that episode involving me covering the debate between Apple White and Madeline Hatter. I promise you that it's just right!"

_**Well, I don't really care. Blondie Lockes... has got a crush on Sparrow Hood!  
**_

Suddenly, Blondie started blushing all over her face.

"Um, w-where did you even get that from?" Blondie chuckled nervously. "I don't have a crush on S-Sparrow, even though he's so cute when he plays that guitar. I mean, you can't even prove that!"

_** Are you sure?  
**_

"Yes, I'm pretty sure!" Blondie nodded, not even noticing that her blush was growing so bright. "Can we just get on with the next fact already?"

The announcer instantly noticed her blushing like a light.

_**Are you blushing?  
**_

"No, I'm sweating!" Blondie exclaimed. "It's because it's way too hot in here. That's all!"

_**Ok, then. Blondie Lockes... wants Sparrow Hood's butt so bad!  
**_

"Um, n-no I dont!" Blondie laughed like a crazy person, "That's false! It's totally false! I mean, those facts are not just right!"

Don't lie, Blondie... you know you want him! Don't try denying it for so long...

Blondie's lip bit nervously, along with her legs that were shaken uncontrollably. Her fingers tapped over and over again, trying her best not to admit this fact.

But after only several seconds of silence, she broke down.

"Okay, it's true!" Blondie cried out to her knees, "I am in love with Sparrow Hood! Every time I dream about him at night, I get so hot and bothered! When he plays that guitar every time, it vibrates my entire body as if I'm having sex with him! It just sounds soooooo right! Are you satisfied now?"

_**Verily. Now you know... Blondie Lockes!**_

In pretty much an OOC-ic fashion, the camera closed in on Blondie, who started to speak directly into the lens.

"Sparrow Hood, if you're hearing this, I loooooooooove yooooooooou!" She replied. "And I want your butt too!"

In a shocking moment, Sparrow Hood was in the green room watching the whole thing. His jaw dropped like a 300-pound rock.

"Okay, I think I'm dead inside..." Sparrow gulped.

* * *

**Yeah, I had no choice but to include Splondie on here. I'm not gonna lie, but it's just so adorable and cute! We need more Sparrow/Blondie stories on this site! Quite possibly, my all time OTP of Ever After High!  
**

**Anyway, who do you wanna see next chapter? Feedbacks are welcome, fellow fairy tales! ^_^  
**


End file.
